do you want to talk about interrupting in coaching conversations and other start with something absolutely obvious stating

that coaching conversations are different from just our everyday conversation conversation with colleagues friends family and

any other communication with other people coaching conversations are done as the partnership between a coach and

the client to help the coach to get new awareness and help them move forward to

help them solve the problems find Solutions get unstuck and whatever is the goal of the coach

engagement is and as such the interruptions in coaching conversations are much rarer than they occur in our everyday conversation

and what's interesting in our tandem classes we start with teaching students not to interrupt

not to interrupt at all and that's somewhat of an extreme take on interruption however

would use that very conscientiously because we know that we are wired to interrupt we

like interrupting and that comes from the fact that a lot of conversations a lot of daily conversations that

occur they occur at the different level of listening that they occur at what we call Level 1

or internal listening if you are not trained in listening to your counterpart there's a chance that you are

listening to respond you are listening not to actually hear what is being said but

to process information that you're getting as soon as possible and respond with your feelings with your thoughts with your

analysis rebuttals or whatever else might go through your mind so that's level one listening in coaching conversations we train

our students and coaches are very well trained to listen at level 2 and level 3

level 2 is the focus listening which is solely focused on the client and on

their communication and notice the word communication I use this is not listening this is beyond listening and hearing

communication is much more than just words that the client says it's what client is not saying

it's their emotions it's their energy it's how they are saying things how they behave while they're saying things

how they behave while they are not saying anything all that comprises communication and level 2 listening encompasses

all these modalities of communication and trained coaches pick them up and they use these to

help the client move forward so these level of listening is is hard you got to be training that

and you got to put a lot of energy into that so definitely in Daily

conversations you wouldn't be doing that and there is no reason to be doing that

however these coaching skills is social skill is very useful to bring into your everyday Lila

everyday life and become just a better listener just a better conversationalist and pay more attention to

what people are actually telling you secondly the interruptions in coaching conversations are done primarily

for the benefit of the client coaches are coaches should be very comfortable in the space

of not knowing so I'm not interrupting the client just to tell them what I know on the topic

they are talking about I might not know everything or I might not know a

lot and that doesn't matter that's doesn't matter to the client because what matters to

the client is any things they are saying anything the coach here's and reflects back serves the

only purpose is to create more awareness to the client and help them move forward

towards their goal so and as we are comfortable in the space of not know when we are also comfortable

in in the fact that we don't have to come across a subject matter experts

and again in many cases who are not as coaches and where we are it's

hard and a lot of a journalist who who came through tandem coaching us they realize that the hardest

coaching conversations at least at the beginning of their coaching careers as those around agile topics

because they know that subject matter and they have experience and a lot of experience and it's

really hard to hold it back it's really hard to be comfortable and to be curious and to actually

ask a question what makes this a problem for this client and the last of our

kind of parts that place into a rarity of coaching interruptions in the conversation is the fact that

coach in the conversation is not driving the conversation coach is not living and it's not the client who responds

to the coach or coaching questions it's the coach who responds to the client communication so all the coaching questions

they are prompted by the client they are prompted by the process and they are

designed to help the just think differently just think in new ways about themselves and about their

situations so what do you need to have in place to have a good Interruption so we can establish that

yes sometimes we need to interrupt but you have to have an agreement in place

so for example I might sell is somebody who actually hate to be interrupted I usually don't go on long

runs and when I'm in a coaching conversation as the client I'm coming choose a conversations for

the benefit of learning and having the sounding board and I hate my thinking process to be

interrupted so I prefer to have an agreement with my coach that I'm not going on Long

rants and he or she does not interrupt me so in order for you to build

rapport and not to lose that Rapport or real quickly it would behoove you and your

client to send that agreement from the get-go in the initial session in the exploratory session whatever

you do auto setup your relationship to ask a client how would you like to be interrupted

if I see a coaching reason to interrupt you if I hear something unusual or something that jumped out

at me in the moment may I interrupt you to bring it to your attention and if so

how would you like to be interrupted and a lot of client will just tell you yeah

just feel free to interrupt me just kind of stopped me show me a sign if you are

on camera or just call my name and interrupt me feel free to do that and later in

a different video I will discuss in more details what's a good way of interrupting a client so

that you still keep the flow of the conversation you are still within the process and you keep

rapport with your client